ENTRIES PROFILE TAGBOARD LINKS EXTRA
hits and counting :D
I sit & laugh with friends at what we've all been through
Friday, April 30, 2004 im tryin my best not to tink of u.i reallie am.its hard.i wanna die.
i reallie hope i can treat u lyk a friend. yea...feli's not gonna be foolish anymore. muz accept dis as much as i can.yep... tryin my best. *sighz* dis is so hard. but pls treat mi lyk a real fren alright..? dun ignore mi. i hate dat. yupz. guess now u wont feel restricted by mi anymore. hmm...hope u'll cherish ur next gal lotz. yea...all e best. . today had eng n chinese paper 2. quite okie ba... feel quite confident in my chinese. hopefully i can pass chinese for mid-yr... yeah..! hahaZx..! mi studied damn hard for it sia. was so stressed yest...!! yest... went starbucks study after exam. studied chinese lyk hell. tried to memorise e words so hard, while cheryl n tiffy were tryin to make mi high...-_-" dey were so disgusting lorz...!! hmm...den got a bit stressed, cuz cant study finish. den rushed home for tuition. walked outta starbucks n it started to rain so heavily. had no more money on me to take cab somemore... hai...sldnt have gave 4 bucks to dis deaf guy. cuz suddenly tot tt he might have cheated mi of my money.hurz... feli's too naive to trust ppl too easily sia.hurhurz... hurhurz... ran back...borrowed money frm bernie. den ran out to flag for cab under e rain. found tt lodsa ppl were flagging for cabs too. took bout 5 mins under e rain til i finally got a cab. tt 5 mins made mi drenched immediately...*sighs* reached home, tuition teacher was already dere. haiz...washed up fast.den had tuition. im lyk studyin e whole day lorz... hurhurz. madness... went tuition ended, felt so stressed suddenly sia. n even cried...[wad da hell]...-_-" calmed myself down by staring at e heavy rain. felt lyk i needed her by my side so much... but ya...it's all a wishful thinkin on my part yea..? had dinner.studied more.n went to slp. today... after exam, went down buy food. had amths tutorial. den went white sands wif eunice, iris n rebecca. hurz...practically laughed througout. was tokin bout our primary skool at macs. hurz.had lodsa fun laughin thou. den met my mum to check eyesight... feli gotta wear specs..!!! *big big sigh* gonna meet eunice, n her guy n iris to study tmr at dougby gault. hurz... gotta meet dem at ten. alrightz...im off... Monday, April 26, 2004 feli the born loser
listenin to e radio as usual. spent e whole afternoon on e com. hurhurz.totally outta da mood to study. -big Sigh- im worried but isnt doing much bout it. hurz...loser mi. . today had lodsa boring lessons had to try my best to keep awake n pay attention..!! mid-yr's in 2 days time..! dis is bad.barely prepared sia. had to clear all e files n books under my table. went home straight after chem tutorial. looked lyk a nerd carrying tt big pile of files n books..!! blame myself for leavin so many under my desk...=( lucky met tabitha, rebecca n daffy on e way. dey helped mi carry a dictionary n chem tys. din reallie make much diff thou.-_-" reached home n had instant noodle for lunch. hurz...kinda sick of it sia...oways eating it for lunch at hm. hurhurz...den ate more..n more..n more..!! dese days ate alot. guess my mense coming le ba...hai... tt 20 bucks a wk is definitely not enuff for mi..!! hahaZx..but my mum dun wanna increase it.wad da... she rather her poor daughter go broke sia.hurz... today feelin a lil more hyper...!yea!! after tt breakdown last nite guess i cried it all out le ba. my eyes feel too dry to cry more. haax.yest almost did e most foolish ting of my life. tot it was plain stupid of me guess ive gone outta my mind. was practically tokin to myself. wad a loser.again. . ure juz a phrase in my life hu brought mi happiness but oso taught mi not to be too naive n trust ppl's words too easily. u totally gained my trust n gave mi paradise but bashed it soon. i shldnt have put so much hope in us. u brought mi into dis but now ure leaving. u care bout mi anymore. wad else can i do but cry about it? i wanna hate you..!! reality sux. how i hope i can live in dreamland... Friday, April 23, 2004 MyE next thurs le..!!--stress--
supposed to meet her to day but she's held back by work again. yea...so gonna farihin to study... but gotta go cut hair first...hahaZx...! ..lyk finally ive decided to cut my hair sia... . im feelin bored... nobody's at home... feel so alone. hurhurz...but got a sense of freedom ba. haax...feli's startin to tok crap. not feelin dat well recently. havin flu n have been coughin n dis stoopid blocked nose of mine is irritatin mi...!!! haiz...feelin a lil weak. not in e hyper mood recently. n justine n bernie tinks im troubled n hidin something frm dem cuz i dun tok n crap much nowadays...-_-" hurhurz...yea...im troubled but not hiding anything for dem yea? juz feelin a lil down cuz of ya... n im sick so cant tok much.hurz... . mi worried for mye. tink im gonna fail both my a n e maths,chinese,ss,history. hurhurz... n im so slackin sia. where has all my motivation gone...? ..but firstly.gotta try not to tink so much bout her. juz makes mi stone on chair for hours w/o doin my work. . haiz...y does time pass so slowly..? now only 9.45...gotta wait for another 3 hours before i can step outta my house. hai. shall stop here.tc peepss..=) //wads happening now..? do u wan mi to go now...? i noe i sld. but i dun wan... im sucha loser. Sunday, April 18, 2004 tests~maths~more tests~ more maths~~her....
due to too much stuff in her head. -sighs- tmr got amaths std test n lit test. doubt im gonna study at all. hurz... mrs cheong say e amths std test lyk veh hard lidat. scary sia... haf not been practising so kinda worried.. \but ya...too late le.test tmr le. hurhurz... -stressed- . haiz... tings cant return to past. tink we sld juz forget it. u dun love mi anymore. mi feel lyk an obstruction in ur life now. if im gone. it wont make much diff for u. maybe i sld juz give up waiting. ...n dats wad u wan too ritez..? -feli's sick of love. -love sux. -its juz hurts in e end //i still love u thou. no matter wad. Sunday, April 11, 2004 lit sUx..!!
lit is driving mi crazy!!!!!!!!! gotta write all e character traits of all e characters in dis book. wad da hell...so much tings to wriet can..? and i haven even did finish any work yet..haiz... ..and im stil at dat stucked question of amaths. wad a loser ritez..?hurhurZ. hai...and how am i to concentrate wen she's on my head...?!! Friday, April 09, 2004 can someone tell mi, wads gg on now?
been sucha fool i guess. dere ure doing so much for someone else. n here am i, strugglin all dese. been tryin real hard to keep happy n ranting everything on my blog. hurz... niway,today met bernie at 12.45 supposedly to marine parade library to study, but change of plans... went bugis to get danielle's pressie. e radio was damn cute. and i wan it too..!!! lolz...it was frm shibuya collection..something lidat... hurhurz... pei bernie eat at nooch and she went crazy over a 'waitress' voice. xioaded sia.bernie's mentality is getting worse each day. perhaps sld go woodbridge for a checkup.lolz...!=X saw her for a while. din reallie get to tok to her. haiz...its oways lidat. hurhurz. mish her sia... went east point starbucks supposedly to study. but juz kept tinkin of her. maybe i sld get involved in an accident and lose my memory sia. hahaZx... tiff came n bought chocolate cake for us.nice gal.hurz... although i had a lil stomach ache after eating it.hahaZx... den cheryl came den we juz crapped throughout after dat. did only one question of amaths. den got stuck at e next question. asked everyone how to do it. but ended up painting my paper wif liquid paper. hurz.so in e end gave up on dat ques.hurhurz... im sucha failure..!! wen lookin at digital cams for quite sum time. den mi left first to have steamboat at home. hurhurz... been a long time since i had steamboat.haahZx... reached home and took a long long time in e toilet den wen i came out, dey finish dinner le. and i had to eat e leftovers in da end.=( poor mi. sat in my room and tried dat stucked ques again. stil cant do it. hurhurz...sld make e habit of skipping ques first sia. or else i wont even have my work done at all...lolz... kinda worried for mid yr sia...hmm...19 days away only wor... hai. dis entry kinda long ehz? its 11.30pm now. she haven replied my msg since afternoon. im offff her mind i guess.......-sighs- //wad exactly is gg on now? who exactly is on ur mind now? how long is dis gonna take?.. -feli cant stop her tears anymore- |